Almost slid a knife through the Heart!



Had a long day followed by a very turbulent emotional evening. A relationship never really ends if you keep picking at it with a fork. Learned a lot of things in my life, to be honest, I am fairly quick learner, but this is where am truly beat.

Oh well, the sorrow brought with it pangs of desire to jack off the horse. To be honest I feel like totally playing with myself to online porn at the moment. Just before I started this blog entry I was completely rationalising in my head on why watching porn would be the right port of call. Quite a quandary. Decided to make an entry here instead.

Am sticking to the predisposed plan of action and therefore, starting a blog entry. Taking my mind off the wild desire is helping significantly.  I really wish I did not feel like accessing porn so heavily at times. Anyways, I am a teeny weeny bit proud that this time I did not. Unlike in the morning where I did ended up rubbing one through.

Though I realised this before, loneliness and sadness are huge triggers which throw you towards porn. It just seems to be so rewarding. I have decided to pick up more reading and cardio! Just so that my mind doesn’t wander off where I do not want it to go. My next course of action is to have a solid plan to occupy my left alone imaginative stimulus which was till now well fed by online porn.

My biggest dilemma at the moment is should I use a porn blocker on my computer or just rely on the strength of my will. Till now my will has not ditched me, so I think I will see one whole week. If I have a relapse may be I will have a recourse to online blocking softwares.

But thankfully, I have this blog now to turn to when the knees get weak and the palms sweaty. Pun intended.

Thankfully, the feeling of porn binge died as soon as it arrived. Am good to go again.

Cheers folks.


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